How do you like my… “pets” ?

Pittman & Davis

Question by : How do you like my… “pets” ?
by Vlad Orekhov

Part 1: Dogs.
Do you want a pet? Do you know what kind of pet? Do you know how to name it? I’m going to tell what kind of pet is the best to get. But if you don’t have the responsibility to take care of your pet if it poops, wants to go outside, hungry, or other stuff and you can’t do anything for the pet because you are lazy or busy… then don’t get a pet. So let’s start of with the human’s best friend, I’m talking about dogs of course. Should you get a female or male dog? Some people think that females are easier to handle because they are more obedient. But some of people are wrong. Just think about your sister (or any girl) and you will see what I mean. So I will say you should better get a male dog. How about the dog’s age? If you get a puppy that means you need to train the puppy and not being angry when the puppy eats up your any trading cards. There are a lot of adult dogs in the animal shelter and 60% of them end up being put to sleep. So if you get an adult dog the dog will not eat your cards wont poop in your house but in the dog’s toilet, but if you train your dog to go to the human toilet you will all ways have to flush after your dog. And plus you will save a dog’s life if you get one from the shelter. So you think having a dog. Now you have to name it. But if you want to name your dog be original. Here is the list of the most popular names for dogs and cats. Millions of pets have already have these names: Max, Sam, Lady, Bear, Smokey, Shadow, Kitty, Buddy, Brandy, Ginger, Baby, Misty, Missy, Pepper, Jake, Bandit, Tiger (or Tigger), Samantha, Lucky, Muffin (or Muffy), Princess, Maggie, Charlie, Sheba, Rocky, Patches, Rusty, Buster, Casey, Sadie, Riley, and Midnight. Believe it or not Fido and Rover don’t get used much so you can use it. Hey here’s an idea: If you get a dog that has bad breath call it a “Germy shepherd”!

Part 2: Special Feature: Dog Safety Tips.
Lesson 1: Train your dog!!!
Train your dog not to go insane when the when a mail carrier comes to the door, also don’t allow your dog not to attack the mail as it comes through the mail slot, that will only teach the dog to attack not guilty mail.
Lesson 2: A strange dog approaches you!!!
Stand still and pretend to be a tree until the dog leaves. Practice this with a stuffed dog. If the stuffed dog still bites you, take it to an animal doctor, if that does not solve the problem, take yourself to an animal doctor.
Lesson 3: The dog is aggressive!!!
If the dog tries to bite you, feed it your jacket, homework, bicycle, cat, or anything else that makes a barrier between you and the dog.
Lesson 4: That insane dog bit you!!!
Wash that wound then report that wound to your closest local animal control center. Tell the person on the phone everything you know about that dog. If the dog stray tell him/her how the dog looked or which direction it went.

Part 3: Cats
Ok if you don’t want a dog then get a cat. Cats are pretty quiet and lovable, and they don’t need a lot of interaction either.
Cats are like girls. They don’t like to do what they are told to do. You never know what they are thinking. You never know why they do the things they do. Even they don’t know why they do the things they do! See just like girls. Some people call this mysterious. And don’t forget to throw away their hair balls! They always like to take a nap. And their favorite food is red snapper. (red snapper are fresh fish.)
Part 4: Pick a pet!
So if you want to get a cat get one, but dogs are better in million times. If someone breaks into your house your cat will look at the bandit and then go to the next room to get a nap until the bandit gets your money and kills everyone in the house, but the dog will attack the bandit and drive him away. So pick cat, dog, or a gold fish which you only have to feed and is boring.(unless you are son or daughter of Poseidon) But you can play with the kitten they are very fun to play with but when it’s older it get bored and lives in the dark evil basement. Come on pick a pet I gave you some ideas! P.s. animals speak in human language! When you get a pet don’t feed it until you hear something from the pet say something about food in human language. Then jump out saying: Ah-ha!!! Then the pet will happy to talk to you about cats, dogs, or even sports. Ok that wraps it up. Bye!!!

So how is it?

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